I have been mulling over what to share and how to share of my journey.
What is too much?
Am I helping anyone?
Do people see me as attention-seeking putting all of this out into the world?
Does it even matter what people think or if anyone even reads this blog?
I am not sure of any of these answers. And, frankly I am not going to worry about it right now, or ever again. I am not going to worry about what or how I share. This is my experience and my way of processing it. The internet is still a free world so you can read or you can click on something else if you choose.
I have realized that I would be doing good for someone.
Since joining the Parkinson’s caregiver and elderly parent caregiver support groups on Facebook I have come to see a whole new world that I never knew about. The caregivers are a lot like the patients, invisible in society. They are stuck inside and sometimes even hiding in their homes. A lot of times there is no choice. There is a lack of support and resources for caregiving. I now know this first hand.
Sometimes, it’s so lonely and depressing you don’t even want to engage another human being. Sometimes you feel guilty for leaving your loved one confined to their bed. It’s a whole range of complicated human emotions.
This whole caregiver thing is SO complicated for modern humans. Back in the day, elders were respected, revered. The prescribed way of living and dying, with family, was clear. Times have changed and everyone values their independence. Forget about family,… “What about MY LIFE?!” I am not going to lie, I felt that. It is so ingrained in our culture in America. Independence. Freedom. It’s not my problem.
And here we are. Here I am.
I have been reading the book Being Mortal by Atul Gawande and he states, “The amount of freedom you have in your life is not the measure of the worth of your life.”
I’m going to leave it there for now.
Go ahead and mull over that for yourself, I have.